Dear Livia,
"The more precise the visualization, the more speedy will be its realization."
— Doctor Dmitry (Daniel) Radyshevsky
As per your invitation to produce a comic script, here is a basic concept for a Collaborative Effort:
Find a Jersey Shore comedian friend of yours or just transform him into Guido Fabulous, accent and polo shirt unbuttoned, just revealing ripped chest. Or you can tackle the male role, since cross-dressing has become your signature, as well as the split-screen. I just thought you might want to mix it up for your fans by featuring eye-candy via a burgeoning stand up comic colleague of yours [Andrew Singer's collaborations have become full-on productions, seemingly]. Christopher Gordon comes to mind.
NOTE: My apologies for the unorthodox formatting. It's the Asian Poet in me. Feel free in add lots of filler.
Theme: Transformation
Primary Setting: Bedroom Chambers
Pretty much quote Stephen Sondheim's lyrics and interspersed dialog in the following scene from A Little Night Music, verbatim, but with subtle satire, here and there.
Plot: Jersey Shore Guido goes to a bar and gets so drunk off his ass, he invites a Clown to his place.
Background: JSG enters. Super-Machismo, in a dorky way. Hits on every girl he sees. They rebuff him with rolls of the eyes, quizzical looks, as he makes a fool out of himself. [the action in this scene could be done in mime, a la Charlie Chaplin]. Exhausted, lonely, and inebriated, he finally spots a Clown on a barstool.
Following an evening together.
Guido [spoken]:
When my eyes are open [Visine drops] and I look at you, I see a woman I have loved for a very long time, who entranced me all over again, when I came to her rooms [Guido retrieves something from her drawers, sneaky and suspect, all the while making continuous eye contact], who gives me such genuine pleasure that — in spite of myself — I came here for the sheer delight of being with her again.
"The woman who could rescue me?" Of course.
But when my eyes are noddled, which is most of the time [Guido is a recreational drug addict], all I can see is a young girl in a pink dress: teasing a canary [quick shot of Guido in a bird suit], running through a sunlit garden [Central Park shot of unlikely couple], awaiting to hug me at the front door, as if I—I'd come home from Timbuktu [quick shot of Guido making Gangster Rap poses], instead of the municipal court... [Guido keeps running his mouth with excuses]
Livia/Clown [sung as an aside: thoughts trailing, attention on smooth-talking Guido drifts, back and forth, silent interpretation interspersed with Clown lip-synching, day-dreaming, flashback]:
Isn't it rich? [Guido buys lady in a pink dress a drink]
Are we a pair? [Guido kisses her hand, flirtatious]
Me here at last on the ground [she falls off stool];
You in mid-air. [cut to: Guidos' place. Guido sucks a joint]
Send in the clowns. [smoke trails]
Isn't it bliss? [in bed together]
Don't you approve? [pan to portrait of her grandparents on a nearby table]
One who keeps tearing around; [splice of tangled bodies beneath sheets]
One who can't move.
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Just when I'd stopped. [he closes in to kiss her; she turns her head slightly, offering only a cheek]
Opening doors. [Guido tries to be a gentleman by opening bar door for her, exiting]
Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours. [shot of Guido watching Lethal Weapon]
Making my entrance again with my usual flair. [slo-mo of her entering bar/Clown awaiting intro from stage corridor]
Sure of my lines. [guido mouths pick-up lines]
No one is there. [Despite giving him the time of day, Guido scopes bar]
Don't you love farce? [clown farts and motions at fumes/Guido's intoxicated breath so close to her face makes her blink uncomfortably]
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want. [Bathroom, fixing makeup, applying lipstick/Clown applies makeup]
Sorry, my dear. [quick shot of Livia's car colliding with deer on road; right before Guido leaves apartment, he mouths "sorry" and leaves]
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're here. [her attention finally returns to Guido smiling at her, naughtily]
Guido [spoken]:
Livia, I'm sorry, I should never have come: To flirt with rescue, when one has no intention of being saved. (beat) Do try to forgive me.
[Exit Guido. She is alone in apartment, staring off, hands resting on her bosom]
Aimless Livia/Clown with balloon walk the streets of cruel city.
Voice-Over:
Isn't it rich? [shots of bank, beggars, busy peddlers, she reaches grocery and makes an embarrassed purchase]
Isn't it queer? [romantic shot of gay couple]
Losing my timing this late [she is dumbfounded at her positive pregnancy strip]
In my career
And where are the clowns?
There ought to be clowns.
Well, maybe
[Livia suddenly notices a bum]
Next year.
[Clown extends red balloon to homeless person on the ground, arm outstretched.]
Freeze
